January 14, 2004
While I do not judge a game by its manual, I must say Mega Man X7’s manual isn’t very promising. So just for fun, here are some commentaries on quotes taken directly from the manual. Note: This is partial satire so don’t take me too seriously.
Box Cover: Shouldn’t Axl be on the cover? I mean, from what I’ve seen and heard, X plays almost no part in the game, and Zero is everyone’s favorite character, but Axl is the character that Capcom apparently is pushing to be the fan favorite (whether the fans end up liking him or not seems to be irrelevant).
Update: Oh, Axl is on the manual cover and the DVD. Okay, good enough.
Introduction: “More War!”
Well, of course! Nothing else ever happens in the X series except for more war between Reploids and Reploids (and occasionally a human here or there gets stuck in the middle).
“The missing leader of Hunter Unit 17, Mega Man X, had sworn to fight for world peace. But he struggled with his profound inner opposition to violence, and finally vanished!”
X is more of a pansy than I’d thought. And everyone thinks he is powerful? Not only that, but this is a guy who can beat Zero, so what does that make Zero? A double pansy? (And I thought Crescent Grizzly was bad for selling weapons when he disagrees with people actually using weapons.)
“Since X’s disappearance, the weakened Irregular Hunters...”
It’s Maverick Hunters! That’s why the enemies are known as Mavericks! I realize this is a translation error, but I still have to smack my head whenever Capcom can’t seem to keep their own names straight.
Also, despite the fact that X is a pansy, I guess the Maverick Hunters are still lost without him and Zero, since those two are the only ones who ever do anything significant.
“He arrives to find that Axl, a teenage Reploid...”
Reploids are not teenagers. A robot can be two years old and have the personality of an elderly human being, or be eighty years old and still act like a kid. This is the difference between robots and humans.
Still, it’s good to see Zero doing something. I mean, usually it’s Zero disappearing or getting himself blown away or whatever, and X has to come to him. Since Mega Man X6 said that Zero was going to abandon X and sit in a capsule for 100 years, it’s kind of nice to see he is still around.
Stage Select: “You must clear at least one stage in order to make selections.”
I think I know what this is trying to say, but it is pretty poorly worded. After all, how could you select a stage to clear it, if you can’t select stages?
Player Change: “You can perform a Player Change in any stage, at any time.” And then: “You cannot change players while using Ride Armor.”
I love this one.
Mission Report: “Number of enemies put to rest.”
At least they aren’t using “retired” this time.
Okay, enough of this...
- The MegaMaster